Sorry I have been slightly out of the loop this week. I have felt incredibly overwhelmed since returning home – weird I know.
Being home has made me realise how incapable I am at completing simple tasks – at the start as little as picking the kettle up because it was weight I am unable to carry.. to hanging my washing outside because of the stretching.
This week has been a battle of my mental state.
I have been open and honest with you all throughout this experience, and I am going to be open and honest with you now.
Recovery is incredibly bloody hard.
Physically.. my body is doing incredibly well. My scar never ceases to amaze me throughout its healing process. Today I awoke and there was a small section which has completely sealed over – you could hardly see it. The human body is something else. Absolutely amazing! I owe my surgeon more than my colon for his research that is for sure!
Mentally.. is the battle. A serious bloody battle. I think of myself to be a mentally strong person. As do the rest of you.. we go through things in life that make us mentally stronger people. I often reflect on those bad times as blessings to make me the person I am today. This past week; however, I have felt like the entire world has been crumbling on my head.
Some days I have woken up in a ‘I got this’ mood, other days I haven’t got out of bed and have cried the entire day.
There have been a few alteration I wish didn’t need to be altered which has most definitely impacted my mental state. For those of you who know don’t know me.. I am a VERY passionate about teaching. Teaching primary aged students. Teaching students with disabilities. Just teaching in general brings me so much happiness. Unfortunately throughout my degree I have had several set backs (a story for another day) which has resulted in me taking 6 months off here and there. I have; prior to this week, been set to graduate March 2019.
As I have had to take this semester of University off due to health it has somehow set me back AN ENTIRE YEAR. Yep.. SO I now finish March 2020 – Absolutely guttered. Broken. Frustrated. Confused. Mad. Angry. You name it – I have felt it.
Why you may ask? There is this stupid thing called pre-requisites. Basically – The subjects I am missing NOW because of my surgery.. I can’t complete until Semester 1 next year. You can only complete your final placement in Semester 1 of any year. Which sets my placement back to Jan 2020.
LOAD OF ABSOLUTE SHIT… If you ask me – but out of my control ☺
ANYWAY.. that has got the better of me this week. After much speculation with University I have much to my complete dismay taken the remainder of the year off, and will return to complete a year and half starting March next year. The reason for this is to ensure I do a block of study as opposed to their initial option of taking the second half of next year off (HOW RANDOM). There are positives of course – as always… MONEY. Time to earn lots of money and take some time to travel. Time to regain my mental capacity to live life. To appreciate my working bowel. To raise some money for bowel research (see below).
Bowel Talk.. friends, family, pals… I CAN SHIT. Not once a month, not twice a month, not even three times a month… EVERY SINGLE DAY.
I wish I could express how happy this makes me.
I have been blessed with how my body has adapted to the surgery in that EVERYTHING is as normal as it can be without a colon. Like.. EVERYTHING. That doesn’t mean to say forever will look this way, but I am counting my lucky stars that presently I have full control of everything and *fingers crossed, no bowel obstructions as of yet. HAPPY BLOODY DAYS.
All in all, everything is pretty dandy.
I mean.. as good as sitting at home 90% of the time can get.
Am I bored? YES
Do I want to return to work? CAN NOT WAIT!
Everyday is a step closer.. 4 weeks until I get to see my kiddies at school and I can not wait!
Thankyou for all the love and support
If you have any questions please feel free to ask or email me @
PS.. When I get cleared to train in the gym again, I am going to begin training for a marathon to support bowel research. I am going to find out through my surgeon if there is a research based charity for gastrointestinal motility; however, if not I will be raising money for the gut foundation which is an IBD charity of individuals with conditions like my own, Chrons & Ulcerative colitis.
I never do things by halves.. clearly… I make insane decision when I can just about walk 2km #logical